I've had so many people ask me this in the recent past that I've thought of throwing the enquirer from the balcony, over and over again, much like in Jodhaa Akbar. Honestly, it's not about the question itself - I have myself unflinchingly used this as a conversation starter with newly weds several times. What annoys me is that -you are only allowed two answers - 'great' and 'good'. No one wants to stop and hear even a syllable more than that. That's probably because my audience is either the much-married-well-meaning-aunt- who-doesn't-really-care or the Don't-talk-to-me-about-marriage-I'm-too-cool-for-it-friend.
It's not the easiest thing in the world to explain how marriage makes you feel. But there definitely is a difference. Something that can still be felt even if you strip off the years you have known the person, the languages you speak, the Gods you believe in (or don’t), the food you eat or the person you are. Companionship.
When your teachers asked you to pick a partner for lab, when your professor told you to pick a team mate for project work, has there ever been a slightest doubt of fear in your head?
I have had it. All the time. Oh, God. Will she work with me? I hope he's not already taken. God, please please, don't let me end up with that girl. That guy is lazier than me, please, not him. Sometimes, if you are lucky you end up working with a person you like, good vibes, good chemistry, good results. You then team up for a couple of projects and there is a certain security - when the next project is announced you only look back at the person and smile, amidst the noisy deal making. The small joy of knowing you have a great team-mate without having to clamor for it, without having to worry about being there before someone else does.
Marriage is like that. It's like finding that perfect activity partner for life. There's someone to split those calorie heavy molten lava chocolate cakes. Someone to bring you home safely when you are many a happy drink down. There's no sitting alone on the roller coaster cars anymore. There's someone to yell at the driver to stop when you are busy retching on a highway. Heck, now there's even an excuse to order that ultra heavy Death by Chocolate. And yes, all of the above works both ways.
It's a pretty cool thing if you think about it. This one's there for good and can't complain about how s/he hates to work with you. (Even if s/he does, it doesn't really matter, they are under contract for life). So there, that's how it feels. Really. I would recommend it. For even if you have to sit through Iron Man, you know you won't miss 'Sex and the City'!
8 comments:
convincing.....hmmm.....!
So we can still continue the 'Have you ever' drinks? Am listening :)
Oh yeah ;) Where's the lemon, where's the salt?
El Complicated - Nice and Easy!
Excuse me for bringing this small point to notice even amongst the heavy n senti discussion n all..Iron Man rocks!!
n Karthik, dude don't give up! Stick to the good movies!!..
btw nice post..again :)
Hi Sandhya, Please go back a little.
Just imagine you see a close friend of yours for first time after marriage and if she starts talking as usual without caring abt ur marriage How do u feel. As Great and good are only words u can answer all others also have only one choice of that question to ask though they know the answer. This is a kind of formality. Take pleasure in answering this and i assure you the question is very sweet, If u dont find that question from Someone i am sure ull feel bad.
- Praveen
Hi dear,
Ok..so no howz the marraige thingy, but I can make out you are having a lot of fun!..aha..the fights haven't started as yet, is it!! Assured, they are even more fun than the nodding head in agreement is! So far, I've hit hubby dear with *don't even mention it to others* a spoon that gave him a deep gash in his eyebrow, threw his cell at the TV and broke it for good.. and god knows what not! But fiery is better than feeling bored, right?
i once told a friend to ask those curious old aunts how their married life was as soon as they put forth the Q.
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