I still remember the first time. Everything was so impulsive. And for a brief moment, guilt-ridden. Since then I've asked myself so many times why I did it. Maybe because it felt so right. And incredibly magical. For when I felt you against my skin and looked into your eyes I just let go. Of my reservations, inhibitions and my senses.
Looking back, I'm happy some of my life's best memories were with you. Carefree days, beautiful sights, unspoken nights. Braving chilly winds as I clutched at your sleeve. Walking unfathomable distances knowing you were with me. At times, shielding you with my little hands, for whatever it was worth. You were my obsession, a completely inexplicable one. Would I struggle so much to understand anyone else? I wonder.
It always annoyed me - the way you would show up my flaws. Yet, there wasn't a single time I didn't forgive you. Not a single time. Not even the days you gave up on me. Or the days I couldn't see you in the eye. You were precious to me. And you always made me smile. In return, I reserved some of my best smiles for you. To cherish, to hold and to freeze forever in memory. It was all you. For when people saw me with you, I glowed.
You changed my life. The times I felt at peace just feeling your presence on me. The way you caressed my nose. How there was nothing more beautiful than burying my face in your back and just holding you. The way I searched for the nooks in you body to fill with me. And the certain joy of looking at life through your eyes. Something no one will ever understand.
You should know it's impossible to forget you. And to think you were never a part of my life. I can never stop wishing I had spent more time with you. Or at least done justice to the times we were together. Deep in my heart, I'll also keep hoping for that miracle reunion.
I'll miss you. Really. I'll miss holding you and making memories with you. I'll always regret never having told you how much you meant to me. But I guess it's time to move on.
There's just one nagging fear in my heart. And I can't stop thinking about it. I hope the lenses that came free with you will fit on to my new Canon.
9 comments:
what an anticlimax!! u mean gal :P.. as usual very smart writing!
Donno if I shud say that...but only pharse i cna think of to explain this anticlimax is KLPD :)))
:-))
Good one. I thot it was going to be about that poster or your stuffed toy.. Nevertheless, smart gal.
Canon 5D has more nooks too. :P
Paranoid by the situation..!!!
Well I always wondered why companies can’t last for long. After putting lot of thoughts I can’t draw a line, in reference to which I can make my decisions. People have got their own priority and “dear” priorities keep changing with time and that’s why I think companies also keep changing with time.
It doesn’t matter how magical was someone’s company, irrespective of having all the qualities which rocked your world, you always bothered for something which annoyed you and your world. At least one should keep track of it, because this is the only weapon which could satisfy your moral to escape from the moments which amazed your world but at the end of the day you might end up leaving few words somewhere in your diary, blog etc. etc for not having someone’s so called unforgettable company. Because priorities keep changing with time, Otherwise imagine situations where you don’t have anything against it and still you want to escape from it, I guess it will screw your mind and your thoughts and might end up feeling guilt within. So cleavers always count on things which are immaterial and to escape you claim for things as if it were so visible like a mount “Everest”. But I believe you can escape the physical existence of any situation but you always make your decisions based on your past and try to avoid the “so called” mistakes which you believe that you encountered last time and draw a line so that you don’t fall into the trap again.
“You can escape situations but you can’t escape memories”
It won’t be a justice to a relation which deserved all the beautiful words of “english dictionary” and ended up with words. You felt it with your beautiful heart so try to grab it with your heart. Relations shall not be dealt with words unless or until you are paranoid by the situation. You live a life to have life long memories rather than memories which fade out with time.
Priorities keep changing with time --> Time keep bringing priorities --> Time is continuous but priorities can be made discrete --> Relations are invincible shall not be made invisible --> if you loved it then have it :)
A Reader...
Y@^^@@^| K|-|@^|
Excellent clincher. Had almost dismissed it for yet another sappy sob tale..
Would have been perfect in rhyme though. Think about it.
Great writing! Not just this one, all of them. I was hoping to read about your wedding and all those things related to it, but I knew it was too soon to expect that... thought I'd check anyhow. I eagerly await...
Love, Debra
holding on to the sleeves,the glow in your face,the love in your words, there is nothing that escapes the warmth in your thoughts whether it's about what came with the free lens or what came out of free will...no amount of twist in the tale or tail will hide what lies beneath your charm that has and will make a million memories :)
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